50 Shades of.... New Farm
By Carrie McCarthy | Posted in For Your Consideration | 31 July 2012 1:01PM
Even though he wore suits tailored cheaply in Hong Kong, his business card said he was the Assistant to the Associate Director of Commercial Leasing, and I was impressed. Despite being engaged to the second oldest son of the best cosmetic surgeon in Brisbane, I hungered for him to fill the empty hours between Bootcamp and designing my own jewellery line.
I watched him make his way down James Street, greeting all the people he saw at every social gathering as though they hadn’t spoken in years, and I knew from his dilated pupils he was high on more than corporate success.
As I stood at Cru bar, trying to remember whether it was at a Fashion function, a Food & Fashion function, or a Fashion, Furniture & Food function I’d first noticed him, a familiar smell filled my nostrils. It was a mix of cigarette smoke and Bundy rum. ‘Private school boy’, I whispered to myself. I turned around and there he was, Johnathon, fresh from watching Australia vs. Wales at The QA.
Our eyes met and soon we were driving his 1 series BMW back to his Woolstore apartment.
As he opened the front door, I tried to remember what Lorna Jane had written on her blackboard that morning. Was it “I move, I nourish, I believe” or “I earn my chocolate one step at a time”? I was so confused. Oh, why could I not hear my idol’s words when I so desperately needed them?
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that, thanks to Bikram Yoga, I was more flexible than the girl in Lululemon’s window.
I stepped inside, knowing that if I managed to make him fall in love me, I’d be drinking gin with his mother and aunts at The Moreton Club in no time.
As well as blessing us with her fan-fiction-spoof-writing abilities, Carrie McCarthy is also the owner of Gertie's one of our favourite Brunswick haunts. Visit Carrie's blog "She's Got Potential".